Someone once said to me life is lived forward. This was a stabbing statement considering it came from my ex-girlfriend when she dumped me. For a year and seven months we were in a relationship and I was planning to marry her. She had met my mother. My pastor knew about her and even the principal of the bible college I went to knew about her. She was my first girlfriend from since I began to exist and I was 32 years then.
For some reason she said that she cannot marry a pastor. No amount of begging or argument could convince her. She wanted nothing to do with me. She told me to move on because “life is lived forward” and that she did not love me anymore. I was devastated but then by God’s grace I was able to move forward. With the support of my family and college friends I got to heal.
I took away a valuable lesson out of this situation. The lesson was that, it is for the best to accept things that cannot be changed and move on. Not knowing the difference between what we can change and what we cannot change can cause more harm in our well being. Most people get over stressed over things they cannot change and by refusing to acknowledge the immutable nature of a given situation they are driven a step further into depression.
1. Accept What You Can’t Change
When something terrible has happened and when you take a closer look at the facts you realize that there is nothing you can do to reverse it or make adjustments in order to improve the situation, the best thing you can do is accept it as it is. Acknowledge that indeed a tragedy has taken place and that nothing can be done to undo it.
A typical example of something that we cannot change is passing away of a loved one. No amount accusations or taking revenge will bring them back to life. They are gone. In order for us to move on we have to allow ourselves to grieve and deal with the fact that we will not see them again on this side of eternity.
Another example I can give you is when you fail an exam or some kind of a challenge. You just have to accept that you failed. You cannot change the fact that you failed BUT you can do something about. You can rewrite and in order to avoid failure again, you honestly revisit your test and learn from your past mistakes which have caused you to fail at the first place.
2. Figure Out What You Can Do
Calm down and look at your circumstance. Try to find something you can do. One of the things I did was getting into my running shoes and run anywhere my feet would take me. Try to get your mind away from the problem just for a while. Let your brain rest and then you will be able to think straight.
It also helps to talk to people. Sometimes when you talk to someone the load on your shoulders will get easier. It helps to talk to people.
As a Christian I have a strong source of comfort and strength and that is God. If I have never heard about the Lord Jesus Christ I would be dead today. I owe my life to Him. The people I have in my life all because of Him. I always run to Him in prayer. When I am done praying I get peace and confidence that everything will be alright in the end.
Learn to move on and learn to forgive other people that have wronged you. Life is too short for holding grudges. Look at the life that God has given you and focus on doing the best and hope for the best. Never give up and never resolve to take your own life. If you take your own life, you will end up multiplying your problem. I promise you, the problems that your facing now are temporary but hell-fire is permanent and there is no way you’d ever escape from that. Even death will abandon you in hell.
Remember, you must let go of the past and move forward because, “life is lived forward.”